have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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