I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it because I queefed?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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