Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
