this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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