I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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