at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
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On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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