I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize