wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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