I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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