R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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