His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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