I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
