i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
