is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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