i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
