Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
