no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
