I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
