i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
