yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Randomize