I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
