Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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