We won't sleep together?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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