Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
