I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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