there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
