Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Fuck appropriateness.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
