I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
