woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
