I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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