well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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