Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
