But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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