I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
tell me about the eggs
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
