Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
