bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
