Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
