she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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