my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize