you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
