I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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