I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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