i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
