the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
