and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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