OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
