Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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