we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
