i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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