What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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