dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
