bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
