Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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