Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
