is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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