apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
