Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
