I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
