we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
