I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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