pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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