my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
