i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
