Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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