Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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