i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
