Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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