but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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