Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
