She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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