ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
