ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize